VivaLaZimmer Podcast Episodes

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Commuting: Save Cash Waste Precious Moments of Life

Commuting: Save Cash Waste Precious Moments of Life

Now I commute every day to a great job in “the city” regardless of where you live whether New York, California, or Iowa, there is always a “city” vs. the cheaper surrounding areas those less fabulous and economically inclined live and then commute in to for work or play.

Commuting in for play isn’t an issue. You drive, take out a loan and pay to park your car for five hours for roughly $3 million.

Commuting for work however is an issue. An annoying one.

The issue that plagues most is the “schedule”. Bitch after 14 years of this shit, there is no schedule! I laugh at the people that are all “I need to leave at precisely 5:12 PM to get my 5:28 bus or train or whatev. I live in reality and know – with my bus at least – its 5:30-ish which will most likely come at ten after 6 or came already at a quarter after five.

For me the issue is the friggin people on the busses with me, invading my airways with their stenches, my hearing with their nonsense and assaulting my eyes with their fashion. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some really cool chicks on the bus – ones I totally Facebook or text – because they? Are normal (or at least my version of normal)

Then there are the ones that get on at 6:15 AM with their 12 kids and think they are only paying for 1 seat and then get snippy when they are told they need to pay for their kids who will be in a seat unless they prefer the overhead compartment.

We also have the people who are ridiculously hungover and feel the need to rehash everything on the phone with their friend including details about the guy they went home wit h last night. The Entire Hour and a Half Ride. You my friend are Klassy (notice the capital K) .

There is also the Holy Rollers that sit there with their bible and rosary beads praying (for a short commute? That we get there on time? For world peace?) The entire time and give you a look if your suit contains a skirt that is shorter than your ankles like you are the devil itself. Its always fun when Klassy and Holy Roller sit within earshot of each other.

The most irritating for a girl to sit next to is Mr. My Balls Are 14” Wide So I Must Straddle the Seat. Really? You have ONE seat. Not yours and ¾ of mine asshole – so contain yourself and seriously with that 1970s hair & tight rolled jeans I’m sure you have a 3 incher and live in your mothers basement. Stay out of my personal space.

The only effective method for blocking this all out and arriving to work at a manageable stress level involves 1) wear a lot of perfume so no one wants to sit near you 2) Sunglasses so you can ignore the hopeful glance they shoot you as they get on wanting to squeeze in to the inside seat and if 1 and 2 fail 3) a fully charged ipod with noise cancelling headphones and a great book to entertain you and block it all out.

By Chriseee

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